enduring…

so as the title of this post says…i’m enduring.  i’ve been in west virginia for almost 7 weeks now, and it’s still hard.  i still wake up everyday wishing i was home…missing those i love the most.  things have gotten somewhat easier, being busy a lot of the time does seem to help, but there are those times at night, right after i climb into bed, that i still wish there was someone here to hold me, comfort me, and tell me everything is going to be alright.  i’ve been on my own now for almost 7 weeks, it seems a little unreal, and it seems like i’ve been here a lot longer than that.  i’ve gone 7 weeks without seeing, or touching anyone i once knew.  i have 2 more week until my aunt and my dad come to visit me, and while i’m loving the thought of them being here, and me seeing them after so long, there is part of me that’s very scared at the same time.  scared that when they go to leave, i’m going to break down….scared that i won’t be able to go back to not having someone here.  i know me being here is making me much more independent, i’m relying less and less on people around me everyday, becoming more self-sufficient…but at the same time, i want someone here.  i want someone who i can be with, don’t get me wrong…i loved paul, with my entire being…but it might be time for me to find someone new, to fall in love again…what do you think?

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