Ain’t that the truth?! I have learned over my last 25 years, that each one of us will come in contact with one, if not many, toads in our lifetimes. Unfortunately for some of us, we’ll also make the mistake of believing their croaking, and we’ll get sucked into kissing them. 😛 I have vowed to no longer do such things. I know we are all taught from a young age that kissing a toad will reveal your Prince Charming, but I no longer wish to smell like a swamp. 😛
As of yesterday, I went on my first real, adult date in my entire life. Dating is a strange, foreign concept to me that I’m learning as I go along. I guess I’m just beginning to see what it feels like to fly by the seat of my pants a little. I now have a clear-cut idea in my mind what it is I want in a person I date, and I won’t just take anyone. My time is valuable and I deserve at least minimum requirements to be met before I’m even willing to discuss meeting up with someone. I’m done with dating people who are unmotivated, selfish, narcissistic, and just plain, not worth it. I’ve been told by SOOOO many people over the past few weeks that the people that I have chosen to date were very clearly beneath what I deserve to have in a partner that for once in my life, I’m going to be picky. I feel like I deserve the right to be picky after everything that’s happened to me and I’m not willing to just settle down with John Smith who decided to peak an interest in me.
One major thing I have noticed since beginning to talk to new people is the fact that I’m much more aware of what my feelings are and what they say to me. And not just what they say, but how they say it. I wouldn’t say that I’m over-analyzing or that I’ve become hyper-aware of it but I’m also not willing to just take anything at face value anymore. Maybe I’m jaded after essentially being left at the alter, but I’m not going to waste anymore of my time on anyone that doesn’t deserve it or who hasn’t earned it. I have a new-found respect for myself that I’m not willing to just hand over to someone anymore. I’m becoming rather content with my life on my own, as simple as my life may be, and only someone truly worth my time will be allowed to share in my time from here on out.
To be perfectly honest, I’m enjoying dating at the moment. While last night was what I consider to be my first official date with someone (official because they took me out to dinner and paid for everything), it’s not the first time I’ve been out with someone of the opposite gender in the past month and a half. And I’m not limiting myself this time around in meeting new people. I’ve been cut off from the world for far too long, and it shows in the fact that I have few friends here I can call and hang out with. So this, I have decided, is a new era in my life. I have turned over a new leaf, turned the page, wiped the slate clean. I’m on a constant learning curve, and while tiring, has been extremely fun. I’m getting out of the house, doing safe and entertaining things, and I’m meeting new people that I’m having a good time with. I haven’t met my Prince Charming yet (and am totally find with it being awhile before I do, if it just so happens to take awhile), but I’m not going to kiss anymore toads. For the foreseeable future these lips are on lock-down until the right person comes along to make me want to unlock them and maybe even throw away the key. 🙂