With everything that’s been going on in my head recently, the bit of advice-secure your own oxygen mask first- seems to ring incredibly true for me right now. I know many of us have been passengers on flights and have tuned out the flight attendant who has said this just before take off during their usual speech of “this is how you secure your seat belt, if you can’t assist others during an emergency in the exit rows let us know…blah blah blah”. But I ran across this one sentence in an article referring to traveling by yourself and it stuck out as being really true for every aspect of life.
I have been immensely unhappy as of late and I think I need to start taking this advice. I need to secure my own airbag rather than worrying about someone else’s. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and trying to determine what it is that would make me happy in life. Don’t get me wrong, I have several things in my life right now that make me incredibly happy, my cats, my family (especially the fact that my sister and her kids live here now), the fact that my car is running great. However I have noticed my interest in school has begun to wane again and my personal relationship with someone is making me incredibly unhappy.
I’ve been talking to someone recently who I’ve known for the past 9 years, someone who knows me really well and knows how my mind works. They’ve been encouraging me that I need to do what’s best for me and that I deserve to be happy and the more I get the encouragement the more confidence I have to make decisions for myself. I’m not quite to the point where I am willing to make the decision yet, but I’m definitely getting there. It’s weighed on my mind more and more over the past 2 weeks and has become a constant stream of thought, which for those of you that really know me, knows that highly unusual for me. I love when my mind is completely blank and I love the silence of it. So to have something constantly on my mind is not good.
The one wonderful thing from all of this, is the confidence I’m gaining that I’ve never had before in my life. Even though it’s coming from a very unlikely source, it’s nice to have someone supporting me the way I need it right now. And for my family and friends, please don’t take that as a bash, you are all amazingly supportive and loving and I appreciate everything you do for me. It hasn’t gone unnoticed. And it isn’t like this person’s advice outweighs any of yours or is any more important, it is all important and valuable to me. I’m just appreciative to have someone else in my corner, nudging me along towards the confidence and happiness that seems to have eluded me the past 6 months.
So at the end of all this, for those of you who choose to read the things I post, please take this piece of advice-secure your own oxygen mask first. Put yourself above others, and I don’t mean in the sense that you are better than anyone else. You have to remember that the one person you can rely on to make you happy above all others is YOU. If you help yourself first, then you can help others. And you can’t expect anyone else to make you happy because as I have painfully learned over the past 9 years, you will be gravely disappointed.