Sitting here, it’s hard for me to believe how different my life is from a year ago. A year ago today, my life came crashing down around me when the so-called ‘love of my life’ called off our wedding. As I sit here, a year later, it seems like a lifetime ago, like it was someone else’s life. To think that I would be this happy or this driven, I wouldn’t have believed it if someone had told me. I thought that that day was the worst day of my life when in all reality, it was the first day of the rest of my life. I look back at that day as a breaking free from the chains, letting go of the dead weight, the end of a chapter and the beginning of a brand new one.
I can’t express enough how thankful I am today to be where I am, surrounded by the people I have in my life. I am immensely grateful for how far I’ve come and how supportive everyone has been to me. It seems like such a dream to me that that even happened, it really is hard to believe it was only a year ago.
Over the past year I’ve gained back my confidence and my independence. Granted, I’m still working on the confidence as that was pretty well beaten down after 5 years, but getting there. As for my independence, I’m more independent now than I have been for the past 9 years. I’m no longer guilted into things, made to feel inadequate or treated as unwanted, ever. Mike has done an amazing job of letting me have the reigns of my life and not overstepping. He gives me space and keeps me close at the same time, it’s incredibly refreshing. It’s nice to have finally found someone who understands my need to do my own thing while being reminded that I’m cherished at the same time.
My life has taken a complete turn in the past year and it’s never looked brighter. So while many would have looked back on this day as a sad reminder of what could have been, I can’t help but look back and be grateful for what I have. It’s hard to be sad over what could have been when I’m too happy about what I have.