Recent Realizations

nothing

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I recently came to a realization.  In the past, I’ve ended up in relationships that, while I didn’t realize it at the time, ended up forcing me to change who I was, the last one especially.  The people I’ve always chosen to date have resulted in me distancing myself from my family, my friends, and eventually from who I wanted to be.  I love the fact that my current relationship isn’t like that, at all.  I don’t feel guilty about spending time with my family anymore, I feel independent, like I don’t have to be up someone else’s ass all the time to make sure their entertained or ok.  It’s so nice to be able to have breathing space because for me it’s extremely important that I can do my own thing without getting the guilt trip.  Not that anything I do is crazy, but I’ve always had partners that would throw tantrums if I wanted to spend a day out with my dad or if I wanted a night to myself.  Mike is the exact opposite of everything I’ve ever looked for in someone up until now, and it’s so so so SO nice.  He is so supportive of me and the things that I need to be happy, it seriously makes me love him even more.  I know that might seem strange to some people but I have never had that before the age of 26.  Even when I dated someone 5 years older than me, they still needed me to entertain them all the time and couldn’t stand spending time at family functions.  Now for those that know me, family is what has kept me sane, especially over the last 2 years, so to try and shut me off from them is not something that can last forever, they’re just too important and I’ve finally found someone who understands the meaning of family and how important it is.  He’s the first real person to totally get me and my needs and consistently meets them.  It’s amazing to come home from a stressful day to someone who has cleaned my kitchen for me, who will cook me dinner, give me back rubs, and just lay with me to make me feel better.  Even if for whatever reason he and I don’t work out, I now know what I truly deserve from a partner and will accept no less.  I am not going to ever change myself or my priorities for anyone ever again.  My future and my family are much to important to me so either join the bandwagon or get off the ride.  It’s nice to finally see someone truly care about me, who not only talks the talk, but walks the walk….it’s incredibly fulfilling.  So for all you people out there who are wondering if you’re relationship is worth it, or if you’re being treated right, take the time to sit down and think about just one thing…..are you truly happy?  I can honestly say I have never been this content with anyone in my entire life.  I knew my last relationship wasn’t right for me, right from the onset, but I wasn’t willing to walk away because of the time I had invested into it by the time I realized I was incredibly bored so for the love of all that is holy, don’t be me.  If you aren’t truly happy and content, walk away.  It might be hard, but you’ll save yourself and someone else a whole lot of wasted time.

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